Life of a Lonely Teenager

Amilya D
9 min readDec 28, 2020

So, I’m pretty new at this whole writing thing. I didn’t really enjoy it, I didn’t enjoy writing these long essays throughout all my years of schooling which were based on the same things (common core- not recommended), and I always sucked at writing and reading (but math wasn’t a strong suit either, I was a science. and social studies type of person). But, this was until I started to read. I was always forced to read for school, and we all know that our lying streaks started with our first reading log (yeah, go ahead and admit it now, don’t keep on lying to yourself). So, I really like to read now, but like darker books, mysteries, crimes, etc. Then, I wrote this essay that I got a 100 on, and I was like: where did that even come from, because I was expecting a 94 like always. But, yeah I wrote a good essay (according to my English teacher). But the one thing I hope is that she didn’t give me that grade because the essay is a total sob story of how lonely I am. This is a narrative with a couple lies, or maybe more than a couple because most of it isn’t true, but then again most of it is true. I know, I’m pretty confusing (and there is probably no one reading this, but if you are read the essay, its pretty entertaining):

When you are friends with someone for a long time, you would think that you have them forever. Although, sometimes time leads to sacrifices, and people drift apart, which was what I never expected.

It all started on the first Monday of October. My favorite season was upon our serene town of Nashville, Indiana, and this vibrant, beautiful autumn day would turn into one of the most devastating days I’ve ever had. I was about to lose all the memories I’ve lived through in the town I grew up in. All of my friends and the fun times I’ve had with them would be lost once I moved.

This terrible news did not come easy to me. Why does my mom have to take cases all over the country anyway? She’s been taking cases for the Nashville Law Firm for the past 11 years. Why decide to take a case in a different state, especially a state with the most frigid conditions? Even though I was mourning the death of my past childhood years in Nashville, the last thing I wanted was to limit the fun I was going to have before I moved. Thus, the only thing I thought would bring me some joy was hanging out with my best friend, Ashten. I’ve known her since we were line partners in preschool, and once we started playing together, you would never see Ashten and me apart. And now, I needed her more than ever.

So, I decided to text her. “Hey, I need to talk”, I texted Ashten, figuring she would answer without hesitation as always. The best friend role was a big deal to Ashten and me, so we always had to respond right away unless we were doing something that couldn’t wait. It was a part of the A & A best friend’s rules that we made in 1st grade to reassure we would stay best friends forever. Oddly enough, I had to wait 2 dreadful hours for her to text back, which was completely absurd. Ashten was always on her phone, so I couldn’t think of any excuse she could use for why she wouldn’t answer right away.

Several text messages and voicemails later, Ashten texted back. “Hi, what’s wrong?”.

“Can we meet up?“ I quickly texted back.

When she replied, “Sure” I couldn’t have been happier. I thought she was busy with something else since she didn’t respond as quickly as she usually does, but even if she was, Ashten would never leave me in the dust. “Best friends stay together, forever,” as she always says, and she’s right. Well, at least I hope she’s right.

Every time Ashten and I hang out we go to our favorite spot, the A & A treehouse. When we were little, Ashten and I would play in our treehouse hour after hour. We were neighbors since the beginning of time, so whenever we had the chance, Ashten and I would sneak into my backyard to play dolls or pirates. We were obsessed with pirates. Those were the best times.

The A & A treehouse was built when I was 5 years old. As a 5-year-old in a ginormous elementary school, I was the most introverted, shy person you would ever see. The fact that I was one of the shortest people in my class didn’t make it easier to find friends either. Since it was hard for me to make friends I decided to focus on my grades as always, because my grades were the most important to me at the time. The purpose of the treehouse was so that I would have a place to play if I was lucky enough to make a friend. Once I met Ashten, I was finally able to spend time with someone in what is now known as the A & A treehouse. After spending a lot of time with Ashten, I warmed up to her and let my unique self out of its cage. Although, as time went on, the treehouse wasn’t used as much. It was filled up with leaves and scattered with old candy wrappers. I knew once I moved to New York, the treehouse would come to ruins. So, I had to spend as much time in the treehouse as I could, especially with Ashten.

I decided to tell my other friends to meet us at the park after so I could tell them the bad news. I walked out of the sliding door that leads to the deck in the backyard. I ran down the stairs of the deck and slowly inched toward the treehouse. The light breeze and colorful foliage drifting in the wind lifted my spirits, but every step towards the treehouse led to an excruciating pain in my stomach and depleted the warm feeling that the fall colors brought. At that point, I knew that telling Ashten I was moving to New York would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do.

There were 5 minutes before the time we were supposed to meet. I sat on the dusty plywood floor and brushed the leaves away. Looking around the treehouse reminded me of all of the fun times Ashten and I had. The acrylic paint all over the walls brought back a feeling of nostalgia from when we painted the sign for our treehouse. The assortment of candy bar wrappers stashed in the corner brought back the strong aroma of chocolate that lingered in the treehouse last Halloween when we stuffed candy in our mouth while bingeing all 8 seasons of Full House. Although, I realized looking back at those memories wasn’t the best way to mend my bitter soul.

After 2 and a half extensive hours of waiting, crying, and having the thought of packing circle in my head, I realized I couldn’t count on Ashten coming. Knowing Ashten, she would usually be on time to hang out, but I guess today is an abnormal day for everyone. Though, watching the leaves fall was the calmest time I’ve had all day. I was finally able to unwind. For once, I wasn’t thinking about moving.

It was around 3 o’clock, and my phone was blowing up with text messages from my friends. Then, all the thoughts of moving came flooding back into my head. At that point, I was drowned in sorrow and regret. Why does this have to happen to me? Why is moving so hard?

After almost 3 enduring hours of my friends waiting for me, I decided that I had to go break the news to them to my friends.

I walked to the park with the forceful gusts of wind pushing me forward stride by stride. The strong wind made my long, brown hair fly into my face. I trailed anxiously through the park entrance, and once my friends saw me they ran over and tackled me. “Where were you? We’ve been waiting so long,” they all shouted.

“That doesn’t matter. I told you guys to come here because I have to tell you guys something extremely important,” I confessed, “and have any of you seen Ashten?”

“Really! That’s what you had to tell us?” Vanessa ranted, “I could’ve finished 3 books in the time you took to get here”.

“No,” I mumbled, “It’s just really important”.

“THEN TELL US!” they all screamed.

“Fine”. I began walking toward the schoolyard as they followed. I felt that blurting the news out was the only way to get it out of me, so I did just that, “I’m moving to New York!” I shouted.

They didn’t say anything and all seemed to be in awe. My stomach churned and spiked with pain as the thought of moving drifted through my mind once again.

A couple of seconds later I heard laughing coming from the handball court, which was not the mood at the time. The roaring laughter caught my attention. I looked over their shoulders towards the handball court and I was in awe too. There she was, Ashten. She left me in the treehouse alone for hours to go hang out with Stephanie and a bunch of wimpy jocks from the football team. My tears glistened in the sunlight as they rushed down my caramel-colored skin. It seemed like my heart had plummeted down a 10-foot well. I felt wounded by the treachery Ashten portrayed.

“What are you looking at?” Nicole asked. As they all looked in the direction I was looking they saw her too. The person who stabbed me in the back.

“Oh no, it’s Ashten. That’s why Amilya was taking so long to get here. She was waiting for Ashten,” Nicole realized. Thinking out loud, all of my friends connected the dots, and I could tell they felt the feeling too. The feeling of betrayal.

“It’s okay Amilya, you don’t need her, you never did. She ghosted you to hang out with a bunch of stupid boys. You waited for her for 2 hours and she didn’t show up for the most important announcement a friend could ever receive. Focus on how you’re moving and all the new opportunities you are gonna have. She’s just a fake, you don’t need her,’’ Vanessa chanted. But the thing is, I felt that I did. I relied on her during the time where I needed support most, and she wasn’t there, for what was the hundredth time. I felt my heart drop at that exact moment. She didn’t care; she never cared at all. I’ve done so much for her, yet I got nothing in return. Nothing.

On‌ ‌that‌ ‌day‌ ‌I‌ ‌felt‌ ‌like‌ ‌nothing‌ was real‌ ‌anymore.‌ ‌All‌ ‌the‌ ‌things‌ ‌we’ve‌ ‌done‌ ‌together‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌mean‌ ‌anything‌ ‌to‌ ‌her,‌ ‌because‌ ‌she‌ ‌felt‌ ‌that‌ ‌she‌ ‌could‌ ‌pass‌ ‌‌ it up ‌for‌ ‌her‌ ‌new‌ ‌friends. But, I know now that as time progresses things fade, especially friendships.‌ ‌I‌ ‌look‌ ‌back‌‌ and ‌realize‌ ‌that‌ ‌time‌ ‌provides‌ ‌sacrifices. ‌“And‌ ‌suddenly‌ ‌you‌ ‌just‌ ‌know‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌time‌ ‌to‌ ‌start‌ ‌something‌ ‌new‌ ‌and‌ ‌trust‌ ‌the‌ ‌magic‌ ‌of‌ ‌new‌ ‌beginnings”. I base my choices on this quote because every day is the start of something new. ‌Ashten’s betrayal ‌has‌ ‌taken‌ ‌a‌ toll‌ ‌on‌ ‌me,‌ ‌and I‌ ‌no‌ ‌longer‌ ‌believe‌ ‌in‌ ‌best‌ ‌friends,‌ ‌because‌ ‌everyone‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌your‌ ‌best‌ ‌friend‌‌. You‌ ‌can‌ ‌say‌ you’ll‌ ‌be‌ ‌friends‌ ‌forever,‌ ‌but‌ ‌time‌ ‌doesn’t‌ ‌promise‌ ‌that.‌ ‌Time‌ ‌doesn’t‌ ‌promise‌ ‌anything.‌ ‌You‌‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌live‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌moment.‌

‌However, I’ve grown a lot since then, and I’ve gained ‌friends‌. I look ‌back‌ at ‌this‌ ‌as a page in my book life every time I gain a friend because all friendships are a test of trust that everyone hopes to pass. My new friends seem to pass this test and feel as if they will be my friends forever, but I can’t ‌promise‌ ‌myself‌ this. I can’t promise myself anything. The ‌only‌ thing I ‌know is that friends are like bees, some pass you by, others leave honey, and some sting you. It’ll hurt for a while, but then it will go away, and everything will be okay.

So, how was it. I know what is real from that story, but you don’t. With that being said, maybe I’ll actually explain it: what’s real, what happened, how I feel now, our relationship. Just maybe…

(probably, cause I really need a reason to rant about my life) and since this is my first post I don’t know if there is a comment section, so if there is: tell me if you want to hear the real tea. (it might get confusing, but you’ll get it).



Amilya D

Hey, I'm just here to write about whatever is on my mind and rant about my life. So, go ahead and read :)